The power of being present

I have just finished reading On Connection by British spoken word performer, recording artist and author, Kae Tempest. Near the end of the book, there is a piece that deeply resonates with me, about the experience of being present as a skill for connection:

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.

You can’t be present all the time.

But the closer we focus on our experience, the greater the awareness of the experience will be, the greater the immersion, the greater the possibility for connection.

So

Put your phone down.

Listen to the birds.

Build a fire in a quiet place.

Pay attention to the details when you kiss your lover.

When you have a conversation with your neighbour about their health.

When you cross the road or feed the cat or buy tomatoes.

…”

The author continues on, urging us to be present - to the sweet, the gut-wrenching, the foolish. All of it. To try. To choose presence whenever we can.

It got me thinking about my bodywork practice and how, for me, every massage I give is also an invitation for the person to enter into the present moment, to be nowhere other than here, now. To be encouraged to breathe slowly, to be supported in noticing what’s happening, to ‘go deeper’ into relaxation states that support rest and repair.

And what is that actually like? Well, it’s experiencing being alive, experiencing being in your body and all that comes with that - for example, the deep and pleasing relaxation of gliding strokes; the good pain of your knotty shoulder being kneaded into; the need to move your leg now because your hip feels wonky; the urge to sneeze; the tangibility of that sadness or joy or longing or grief nestling in your chest; the feeling of care and attention from my touch; the rise and fall of your belly with the breath; relays of thoughts about work and that meeting later, then realising you’ve gone away and bringing attention back to the breath and the experience of my hands working into your tight calf muscles; the barely perceptible caress of the gentle summer breeze through the open window; the sound of soft music in the room that seems to cocoon the space somehow. Whatever it is for each of us, it’s all there, available for noticing. In every moment.

And what motivates me to incorporate this invitation into my massage therapy offering? It’s because I know powerfully from my own journey into embodiment that being present to what is happening in the moment doesn’t just create the potential for a great bodywork experience. It’s a *life skill* that can improve many aspects of our lives - how we work, how we love, how we parent, how we eat, how we treat the planet.

• The more we are able to be present in the moment, the greater our potential for connection - with ourselves, with others, and with all that is.

• The more spacious we feel, the kinder we can be.

• The more we notice, the more sensitive we can become and the more able we are to resist the progressive numbing of modern living.

If I have a path, it is living in an embodied way, and teaching others how to be present to their experience - through the precious vehicle of the body. And massage therapy is a beautiful method to do it with!

Excerpt from On Connection (2020) by Kae Tempest

Photo by Ian Kiragu on Unsplash